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I'm a virgin and I don't know 6/29/2006
The bride tells her husband
The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you
know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me
first?"
"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will
call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the
prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the ...
2 Comments, 847 Views,
40 Votes
,5.39 Score
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I want a girl who ... 6/5/2006
I want a girl who doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit,
but does know the meaning of most other words.
I want a woman who understands spontaneous passion, can
thrill to dizzy sudden sex (while keeping her balance),
and who understands that we probably would not be allowed
to shop at that grocery store ever again. (“Mommy, why is
that woman snorting like a rhino?” ...
2 Comments, 376 Views,
5 Votes
,3.80 Score
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sexual fantasies of women 5/31/2006
It shouldn't be surprising that women have fantasies
too. Sometimes, they are more sexual than ours. In this
article we will discuss the top ten fantasies that women
have. You will want to print this one out for future reference.
Here we go, please pay attention!
Having sex with strangers: This might sound odd, but women
fantasize about this as well. Having sex with a complete ...
1 Comments, 462 Views,
11 Votes
,3.35 Score
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So many Chatty Kathy's 5/24/2006
Everytime I think I meet someone on-line that is going to
have amazing sex with me, they just want to talk dirty with
instant messanger. Don't get me wrong, I've loved
it all, but want some real sex.
0 Comments, 59 Views,
2 Votes
,1.73 Score
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PARTYTIME 5/24/2006
I thought for my first party i'd get an even number of
both sexes together with your own thoughts and fettishes,
as well as sexual needs. The erotic side of it is that there
could be a lot of people who are meeting for the first time,
or there could be small groups of people turning up together.So
on the 10th of June, (a saturday) we will have this get together
and see what happens. I now ...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
0 Votes
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You just don't know what I will do to you.... 5/11/2006
You have a cute______. You make me _______. You should _______.
Someday I will ______. You + me =________. If I saw you now
I'd __________. I would build a _______ just for you.
I would get your name tattooed on my __________. If I could
sing you any song it would be _________. We could __________
under the stars. My love for you is like that of ____________.
Love,
...
0 Comments, 62 Views,
6 Votes
,1.66 Score
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My truck got some action 5/9/2006
I walked to the grocery store yesterday hoping to stretch
my legs instead of driving there. I come back about 3 hours
later to find that my next-door neighbor is sitting in my
truck, inside my garage, with the gear shifter up her pussy.
I almost died fucking laughing at that point, except that
she then bent over and asked for it up the ass... what a great
day.
0 Comments, 178 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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MAIS UMA DO JOAOZINHO II 4/27/2006
O Joãozinho entra no quarto e pega o pai colocando uma camisinha
> Muito embaraçado, o pai tenta esconder a ereção e a
camisinha, e vai se
> abaixando na cama.
> Joãozinho diz: O que você está fazendo, papai?
> O pai responde: Eu acho que eu vi um rato embaixo da cama.
> Joãozinho retruca: E o que você vai fazer, comer o cu
dele?
MULEQUE NAO MOLE
0 Comments, 48 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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GIMME BACK MY CHI!!! 4/12/2006
C stayed with me last night. He got up early as usual to head
off to work. I never felt him get out of bed, so I looked at
him funny when he came to kiss me goodbye trying to figure
out why he was dressed. I got out of bed about an hour after
he left, went online for a few hours to sort out files, cleaned
up just a little (didn't have to much motivation in
this department today) and then ...
2 Comments, 347 Views,
19 Votes
,2.20 Score
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Relationship Humor 3/26/2006
To me there is nothing better than when you and your partner
have the same sense of humor. It makes conversations alot
easier, so there's no awkward silence, and when you
do something stupid, you both can just laugh about it. I'm
sure we've all came across something during our sex
lives that you thought was funny, but didn't want to
laugh because you were afraid to embarass your partner. ...
0 Comments, 492 Views,
5 Votes
,1.51 Score
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LOVE 3/23/2006
If love is a flower, let it grow
if love is a tree, let me know
if love is a forrest, taking over the world
take me in your branches, away from here
take me to somewhere love doesnt exist
0 Comments, 33 Views,
3 Votes
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I Am Hung 3/16/2006
One Saturday afternoon, I was sitting in my lawn chair,
drinking beer and watching my woman mow the lawn.
The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged
at this that she came over and shouted at me, "You should
be hung."
I calmly replied, "I am.
That’s why she cuts the grass".
3 Comments, 626 Views,
29 Votes
,4.64 Score
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Fantasy Lover - First Date 3/16/2006
My Fantasy Lover/First date
I want to come home and find you in my bedroom, with a sexy
nightie on. Despite the fact that I never gave you a key and
the place was well locked up.
You were on Oprah’s show about Sex maniacs and had over 80
clicks on your belt, I knew then that you’re the girl for
me. You have recently stalked a man or currently stalking
one now, ...
0 Comments, 83 Views,
3 Votes
,0.98 Score
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if she say's no 3/12/2006
guy's if you meet a female and all she want's to
do is give head and she won't let you fuck or touch her
pussy then you might wanna run because this female really
might be a male.
2 Comments, 155 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score
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My girlfriend's sister 3/10/2006
Someone told me this story and I want to share with you. This
guy is a friend of a friend of mine.
I was engaged and have already planned a marriage with my
girlfriend. Her family seems to welcome me, especially
her younger sister. When my girlfriend is not looking,
she always come close to me, hug me and rub her breast against
my arm. I thought she was just kidding but I ...
1 Comments, 688 Views,
29 Votes
,6.75 Score
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penis size 2/28/2006
This is the age old question about which matters more...size
or use? which do y'all think is more true? Does a bigger
penis automatically mean better sex? or does it all depend
on "attack" style?
9 Comments, 713 Views,
19 Votes
,2.99 Score
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flame that burns forever 2/19/2006
I belive the key point in a relationship is humor and sex.
You have to be able to take a joke.Taking every word seriously
makes not only you but the other person miserable. With
that said however there is a line that shouldnt be crossed,
which you only learn through trial and error.A helpful
technique to use around other people when your partner
pisses you off, is to respond with something ...
0 Comments, 157 Views,
10 Votes
,2.59 Score
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What Is Love? 2/19/2006
What Is Love?
Softly spread from heart to heart,
With expressions of devotion.
Voiced with strong feeling and
Tremendous emotion.
Although it requires little time to reveal,
This process can take long to heal.
These impressions can often accidentally
Be taken, wounding one's heart because mistaken.
Because of the strength of attraction and care,
Freedom is sacrificed for the ...
0 Comments, 72 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Marriage and Sex 2/16/2006
There was this couple who have been married for 20 years
now...And every time they went to have sex....The husband
would shut off the lights before engagaing in sex with her...One
night while having sex...The husband did his normal thing
and shut off the lights before starting...Half way through
the session, the wife quickly turned on the lights to find
her husband using a dildo instead of ...
0 Comments, 404 Views,
12 Votes
,4.39 Score
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Tips for a Happy Relationship...... 2/15/2006
Borrowed from the late, great Red Skelton.
<br>
1. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little
beverage, share good food and companionship. She goes
on Tuesdays, I go on Fridays.
<br>
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in California
and mine is in New York.
<br>
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way
back.
...
2 Comments, 154 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
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why men wont commit??? 2/15/2006
maybe because...they cant get sex w/out commitment, they
can get the benifits of having wife by just cohabiting.
10 Comments, 376 Views,
17 Votes
,3.97 Score
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the pussy fart 2/13/2006
there is nothing more humorous to me than a woman who queefs
after sex....it is kind of erotic because it means the pussy
is really wet, but the sounds is just too much to take....lol
3 Comments, 320 Views,
5 Votes
,2.49 Score
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Sex With My Ex 2/13/2006
My wife moved out and is living at her dad's. He lives
about sixty miles south west of me, in H.B., Ca. During
the week, I talk to her every day or two on the phone, cause
we have a 9 yr. old girl together. We just split up a little
over a month ago so, It's just passing that devastation
feeling.
Whenever I try to talk her into coming out here she trips
but, she always comes. The 2nd ...
0 Comments, 206 Views,
3 Votes
,2.45 Score
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You Can't Be Serious 2/8/2006
Alright, while I am definitely not "as good as I once
was", I am most certainly "as good once as I ever
was".
<br>
Hell, I'm 45 years old, spent 14 years as a professional
athlete and now bear the scars of one of Dr. Frankenstien's
creations however, I do what I can to kep myself in shape
and stay relatively "marketable" to the fairer
sex.
<br>
My question, simply put, ...
0 Comments, 152 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
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WORDS WOMEN USE AND WHAT THEY MEAN 2/3/2006
WORDS WOMEN USE AND WHAT THEY MEAN
<br>
FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are
right and you need to shut up.
<br>
FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes
is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes
to watch the game before helping around the house.
<br>
NOTHING
This is the ...
0 Comments, 258 Views,
11 Votes
,5.78 Score
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Girls Vs. Grown Women 1/31/2006
Girls Vs. Grown Women
<br>
1.GIRLS leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy
to call and make plans.
GROWN WOMEN make their own plans and nicely tell the guy
to get in where he fits in.
<br>
2.GIRLS want to control the man in their life.
GROWN WOMEN know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't
need controlling.
<br>
3.GIRLS check you for not calling them. ...
0 Comments, 166 Views,
11 Votes
,5.22 Score
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My Brother Does 1/30/2006
One of the best real life stories I ever heard goes back to
my college days. Some guys I knew had been out drinking and
they were heading back to the university on the bus. They
got off a couple of stops too early and were following a young
woman who was probably heading home after work. Said young
woman was very easy on the eyes and they were slightly drunk.
One of them yelled out to ...
0 Comments, 408 Views,
6 Votes
,3.93 Score
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mating 1/27/2006
Some species mate for life. Wolves, eagles, penguins,
and other species... once mated will never take another
mate. Humans however, will not only take another after
mating, but will take another during, before and after
mating originally.
<br>
Why succumb to the socially accepted norm??
6 Comments, 283 Views,
15 Votes
,3.59 Score
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Humorous beginners guide to AdultFriendFinder 1/17/2006
Troll… group name for the fakers, timewasters, wannabes,
and stalkers, those needing a life and those pretending
to have one. The desperados, self professed greats and
great pretenders, the masqueraders and misbehavers.
The picture collectors and traders. Those that email everyone
and those that email one person over and over and over and
over and over and over… In most cases ...
1 Comments, 356 Views,
10 Votes
,3.58 Score
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Philofecies 1/15/2006
I lick girls' rumps. I like to lick girls' rumps.
Girls like to have their rumps licked. Most girls won't
admit they've had their rump licked, let alone enjoyed
having their rump licked. But believe you me, if you lick
a girl's rump, she'll love you for life. In fact,
that was my high school yearbook quote.
<br>
My conviction to 'slurping the brown pucker'
doesn't stem from ...
2 Comments, 209 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score
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