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pdaesdude.... 1/16/2005
I thought that I would make up my own damn language and write
a long article that nobody else on the whole goddamn planet
can read. ejaaavnafh pejoazop p[jaonaopp[wf ...ha, ha,
ha.
Get it.
0 Comments, 75 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
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THAT HOT COP DID WHAT? 1/11/2005
Sir Psycho Sexy that is me
Sometimes I find I need to scream
<br>
He's a freak of nature
But we love him so
He's a freak of nature
But we let him go
<br>
Deep inside the garden of Eden
Standing there with my hard on bleedin'
Theres a devil in my dick and some demons in my semen
Good God no that would be treason
Believe me Eve she gave good reason
Botty ...
0 Comments, 103 Views,
11 Votes
,2.23 Score
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Longface 1/8/2005
Why did the cow had a long face ?
<br>
its because she says:-
A woman gets fucked evey day and milks only once a year, and
with me ...... I get fucked only once a year and milks throughout
the year .... thats why the long face.
0 Comments, 54 Views,
6 Votes
,1.09 Score
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Ship 1/8/2005
what is the similarity between a ship and a woman?
<br>
<br>
Well....... A ship cuts thro the water and a woman waters
thro the cut.
0 Comments, 110 Views,
8 Votes
,1.39 Score
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Need Humor 1/8/2005
I think humor is very important. I hate when I am with a girl
and I try to joke around with her about something and she
is too serious. Even girls that are fun are the same way.
They always joke around with me kind of sexually, and when
I go to do the same to her she gets pissed.
0 Comments, 89 Views,
4 Votes
,0.92 Score
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TenTattoos & Sex 1/4/2005
Tattoed lovers are extremely sexy and interacting with
inked skin heightens the sensual experience.
Why? Here are the 10 top reasons:
<br>
1)Licking a tatoo won't give you carb-guilt in the
morning.
<br>
2) It makes sex into a "scratch and sniff" experience
for our eyeballs...
<br>
3)Tatoos move when your lover moves. You burn twice the
calories ...
0 Comments, 98 Views,
3 Votes
,1.96 Score
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First date blunder 12/31/2004
I had exchanged a few emails with a local lady, found out
she had a Masters in Social Work, seemed very bright, cheerful
and possesed a subtle sexual lure. We decided to meet for
coffe and see if lust would take hold.
The day came and we met at a local mall's food court since
it was familiar to both of us. Exchanged hugs and I could
feel her hard nipples through my shirt. We sat and, out ...
1 Comments, 187 Views,
9 Votes
,3.21 Score
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The Real Origin of Condoms... 12/30/2004
Hey, isn’t a condom one room in a condominium?
<br>
But seriously… I’d like to meet the guy who invented the
condom. I just wonder who thought of it first??? I hear tell
that condoms have been around for quite some time and that
the original ones were made out of animal hides. One theory
of their origin is this: A caveman (named Ugh) beats a cave
girl ...
0 Comments, 139 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score
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My thoughts on gay & lesbian sex... 12/30/2004
Although I would describe myself as sexually adventurous
& open minded, I’m still basically pretty conservative
in my thinking, at least when it comes to alternate lifestyles.
By alternate, I mean gay & lesbian. And, as a man, I especially
dislike the idea of men having sex with other men. I’m a little
more tolerant of lesbian sex, but only because the lesbian
porn videos & ...
1 Comments, 101 Views,
8 Votes
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My thoughts on Cybersex... 12/30/2004
I’ve only had cyber-sex once. It ruined my mouse and made
my keyboard all sticky. And if you don’t use protection,
your computer could get a nasty virus. I don’t recommend
it!
0 Comments, 49 Views,
0 Votes
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Boxers or Briefs? 12/30/2004
As Shakespeare would say, “That is the question. Whether
‘tis nobler to robe thy loins with…” ‒ oh, never mind. I’m
not sure why this is such a big question. I mean, does it really
make any difference to the lustful women who might actually
ponder such a question? Do women really derive any true
pleasure just by knowing what kind of underpants ...
0 Comments, 43 Views,
3 Votes
,1.47 Score
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My thoughts on shaving... 12/30/2004
I don’t suppose it’s necessary for me to say that I’m not
talking about shaving faces or legs. Of course I’m talking
about that certain preference (or is it a fetish) of shaving
the pubic region ‒ (excuse my language).
<br>
Once more I am totally unqualified to address the female
perspective, but I would suspect that most women have considered ...
1 Comments, 144 Views,
8 Votes
,3.71 Score
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Sex and Humor 12/25/2004
A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th
anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening
25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you
first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through
your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to fuck
your brains out, and suck your tits dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, ...
0 Comments, 243 Views,
54 Votes
,6.05 Score
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Funny 12/25/2004
How are women and tornadoes alike?
<br>
They both moan like hell when they come, and take the house
when they leave.
1 Comments, 148 Views,
36 Votes
,4.79 Score
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First Experience 12/22/2004
My first experience with a woman was my most memorable experience.
I was sitting at the Pub in my Leather sipping on a brew and
a cute gal said I looked like a real man. We sat drinking and
conversing and she asked if I wanted to go back to her place.
We made it to the bedroom with a line of clothing behind.
She caressed my body, softly kissed my nips and climbed
on top. My bod was steamin' ...
0 Comments, 130 Views,
17 Votes
,2.70 Score
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sex in a long term relationship and how a washingmaschine can save it 12/21/2004
Oh well there was this couple , wich were married allready
for 15 years and the sexuall attraction wasn't there
anymore , like when they meet.
<br>
Anyways both decided to see a sex therapist to freshen up
their lust . So they sitting by the therapist and he's
telling them that they need to be more " spontanious"
.
<br>
So he's asking the doc how would they achive ...
0 Comments, 75 Views,
7 Votes
,2.79 Score
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I thought i was a good Lover :( 12/21/2004
I really thought i was a good Lover , till i found out my ex-girlfriend
had asthma.
<br>
Only then i realized where the havy breathing was coming
from.
0 Comments, 51 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score
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2 Doctors and their dating experience 12/21/2004
Oh well their was these 2 Doctors wich meet over a dating
service and they agreed to meet in a bar for their first date
.
<br>
Anyways the evening got longer and longer and both had allready
a couple of drinks .
<br>
He was a bit shy but eventually he found the courage to ask
her if she would like to come with to his place to have the
last drink.
<br>
She ...
0 Comments, 109 Views,
14 Votes
,3.14 Score
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Viagra 12/21/2004
I really have to tell you guys this story . A friend of mine
went on holiday to Thailand and brought some bottles of
Viagra with , since he was a bit older then me he relied on
it or better his wife .
<br>
Anyways he comes back and he's telling me what hunk
he is now and that he can last for 3 hours and 15 mins .
<br>
Damn i know that Viagra isnt to healthy and i ...
0 Comments, 182 Views,
16 Votes
,2.25 Score
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my sexlife and my addiction to some medicine 12/21/2004
yeah where do i start , oh yes did i tell you guys when i was
young i realy had big problems with girls and sex .
<br>
You wont beliefe me but it took me always 4 hours and 13 mins
... yes exactly 4 hrs and 13 mins.
<br>
- 10 mins foreplay
- 3 mins action
- 4 hrs unconscious 
<br>
Oh well after that i meet a friend and he suggested i should
take ...
0 Comments, 82 Views,
12 Votes
,2.09 Score
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just a little wind 12/20/2004
picture the scene, one cool autum day me and a rather pasionate
young lady were busy in the bed room, when she decided to
change positions and go on top. With all that vigiorious
bouncing (and a good curry in me)i could feel the accumilation
of wind down below, dispite my best efforts to suppress
the flow, she managed to squeeze it out of me!! and as quick
as a flash hopped of expressing ...
0 Comments, 66 Views,
8 Votes
,1.16 Score
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Ode to oral 12/12/2004
Penis breath, a lover's dread
Is what you get when you give head
Unpleasant as it tends to be
Be grateful that he doesn't pee
It's times like this, you wonder why
you bothered reaching for his fly
But it's too late, can't be a tease
Accept the facts, get on your knees
You know you've got a job to do
So open wide and shove it through
Lick the tip then take it all
...
2 Comments, 106 Views,
47 Votes
,4.50 Score
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Cramp during Sex 12/10/2004
Just thought I'd share this funny little story that
happened to me one time....
I was dating this girl and of course having sex on a fairly
regular basis. One night we were in bed going at it for the
second time in various positions. I'd already fucked
her about an hour earlier but she's feeling extra frisky
and wants to go at it again. Not wanting to disappoint her,
I go to work. ...
0 Comments, 74 Views,
27 Votes
,2.93 Score
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I love humor 12/7/2004
I just love a couple with a sense of humor. What do you do if
a couple just does not know how to joke around and your just
not interested anymore? Life is to be lived and have fun
doing it.
2 Comments, 31 Views,
12 Votes
,1.21 Score
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With Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore 12/6/2004
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the room
The new guys were talking of doom and of gloom.
“There are too many guys!” I heard one of them say,
I wish that you others would just go away!”
<br>
The women were laughing, they’d seen it before
“Hi let’s have sex” as soon as they hit the door.
“And I ...
1 Comments, 44 Views,
16 Votes
,5.77 Score
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The saga of sandy and dennis 12/5/2004
BASED ON ACTUAL EVENTS:
The face of a muff diver named dennis
Grew fuzz like a ball made for tennis
Whomever he ate
Thought his tongue was just great
But his beard was an absolute menace
<br>
Day and night he would lick one named Sandy
And feast on her puss just like candy
Though her thighs were all raw
Shredded just like coleslaw
She liked ...
0 Comments, 70 Views,
14 Votes
,2.82 Score
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Sex Therapist 11/30/2004
A noted sex therapist realizes that people often lie about
the frequency of their encounters, so he devises a test
to tell for certain how often someone has sex.
<br>
To prove his theory, he fills up an auditorium with people,
and goes down the line, asking each person to smile. Using
the size of the person's smile, the therapist is able
to guess accurately until he comes to the ...
0 Comments, 45 Views,
30 Votes
,5.59 Score
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Clothing sizes 11/25/2004
When a man shops for clothes, his primary objective is to
purchase clothes that fit on his particular body. A man
will try on a pair; when he finds a pair that fits, he buys
them. Most men do not spend alot of time fretting about the
specific size of thier pants. Many men wear jeans which
have the size printed on the back label, so that, if you're
standing behind the man in a supermarket ...
5 Comments, 90 Views,
54 Votes
,7.43 Score
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A night out 11/24/2004
A man left work one Friday afternoon. Being payday, instead
of going home, he stayed out the entire weekend hunting
with the boys and spent his entire paycheck.
When he finally appeared at home, Sunday night, he was confronted
by a very angry wife and was barraged for nearly two hours
with a tirade befitting his actions.
Finally, his wife stopped the nagging and simply said to
him, ...
0 Comments, 201 Views,
49 Votes
,7.32 Score
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Cyber Sex Conversation 11/22/2004
Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately
known as
"cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into
keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get
pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one
of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of
an online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of
cyber sex. Then again, maybe he does...
<br>
...
0 Comments, 642 Views,
53 Votes
,8.97 Score
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